Talkin Bout My Generation X

Miscellany

Introduction

At no point throughout this post will you “hear” me say, “Get off my lawn,” except right there. At no point will I claim that I lived in the golden age of childhood, high school, or college. That’s not the point of this post. Instead, I want to offer some anecdotal observations. That’s all this is. I have not studied “the literature” and statistics. Again, what follows is purely anecdotal. It’s even less reliable than that. I guess I am the unreliable narrator of this blog post. But it is how I “think” I remember things. But I do want to say at the beginning, what I’m offering here are subjective memories and observations, taken from the cobwebs in the corner of my mind. (That sounded really pretentious… or like I lifted that sentence from a Seals and Crofts song.) At any rate, I have no letters behind my name that give me credentials to speak authoritatively on this topic. And yet, I still want to share a few thoughts.

I was born at the tail end of 1965. I graduated from high school with the class of 1984. Go Raiders! From what I do know about generational demographics, that puts me on the older side of Generation X. What a cool name, by the way. I think Billy Idol was in a band called Generation X. (You other generations can look him up.) However, back then, at least in my experience, I didn’t know we were called Generation X. We didn’t go around talking about what generation we were a part of. Experts, to my knowledge, weren’t writing books on our generation and telling all the older folks who we were, what we liked and didn’t like, and how we could be “reached.”

It is true, we had heard of Baby Boomers, but I’m not sure I could’ve told you much about them except that we referred to them as “tree-hugging, long-haired hippie dope-freaks from the 60s and early 70s.” Not a flattering picture of them, but that’s what we were told about them, which makes it hilarious to this Gen Xer, that the phrase, “OK Boomer” is a not-so-subtle way for Millennials to call Baby Boomers, “old codgers.”

Anyway, I still haven’t gotten to my point. Lots of side bars and tangents. Probably more to come.

Old People on TikTok

About seven or eight months ago, I got on TikTok, in stealth mode. I wanted to see what all the commotion was about. (I know, I know… what’s a guy in his late 50s doing on TikTok? Turns out there are a lot of us. I guess it’s our attempt to ruin TikTok as we ruined Facebook and Instagram. But that’s not the point of this post either.) Then, a couple of months later, I shared my first post. I have the least creative account on TikTok. I have found the experience interesting, even fun at times. Of course, like the rest of the Internet, TikTok has its fair share of unseemly videos, with the human condition at its worst. But there are lots of videos showing the warmer, friendlier side of our nature, redeemed or otherwise. At its best, TikTok has been entertaining, funny, and I’m constantly amazed at how creative some people are.

Over the last couple of months, I started noticing a few generational squabbles. It’s true, Baby Boomers and Millennials have been at each other’s throats longer than that. But Generation X had apparently kept out of things. There are seemingly hundreds of videos explaining why; you can watch those yourself. But back to my observation. About two months ago I started noticing a multi-generational battle royal beginning to get going. It was pretty humorous watching the various generations hurling stereotype-laced insults at one another. It seemed mostly good fun.

Talking ‘Bout My Generation

As I mentioned earlier, I think most statistics refer to Generation X as those born between 1965 and 1980. Some may bicker with a year here or there, but that appears to be the leading statistic I’ve found. And what I have personally recognized, since the 90s, is even within a single generation the differences are vast, which is why it’s so fascinating to me to see folks of the same generation with such divergent opinions, values, and preferences align themselves together to “battle” other generations.

A Few Differences

Ronald Reagan was president for all eight years of high school and college for me, and I must say it was glorious. I was a conservative, a young Republican, and loved Reagan. In my memory, it was a pretty patriotic time, (as I understand patriotism), and I thought the country was in fairly good shape back then. And yet, in my same generation, on the other side of the GenX spectrum, are plenty of folks who couldn’t disagree more with my assessment of Reagan and the country. Sure, I was used to the “hippies” not liking Reagan… but Gen Xers? I was discombobulated to say the least.

And then there’s Gen X music. Now, I could list the safe singers like Michael Jackson and Madonna, but when I think of Generation X music, that’s not who comes to mind. My mind immediately goes to the Police (who actually started in late 70s), Duran Duran, Tears for Fears, Modern English, Billy Idol, and The Cure, just to name a few. My younger Gen X counterparts may think of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and whatever else came out after 1988 (I refuse to acknowledge it). Now get off my…

And then there’s the whole issue of how we were raised. I have watched videos by folks from Gen X moaning and groaning to the younger generations about how hard we had it. “We drank out of water hoses, didn’t have play dates, stayed out from morning until evening, had no way of contacting our parents if we were in trouble, were dropped off at the mall for hours, etc.” Most of which was true. But there’s an aspect of Gen X childhood lore that I really can’t relate to. Many folks talk about how harsh their parents were on them, almost to the point of mistreating them. Perhaps this is just hyperbole, but it shows up a lot. I remember when I was in high school and college, I loved John Hughes’ movies. But one thing I could never relate to was when one of the main characters would harp on about how horrible his parents were and if you said you liked your parents, you were lying. Or some version of that. Couldn’t relate to that sentiment then or now. I had a great relationship with my parents.

And then there were the “latchkey kids.” These were the Gen Xers who returned to empty homes after school because their parents were both working and they had to make their own dinner, do homework on their own, etc. I’m sure that was true for many. But “latchkey kid” was not a phrase I had ever heard of until maybe late in college or even after I graduated from college. My mom didn’t work when my sister and I were young, and then when we went to high school, she got a job which enabled her to be home before we got home. We had family dinners. I felt loved and supported by them. We had a close family for which I’m very grateful.

To hear some Gen X folks talk, they had a much different experience, and I’m truly sorry for that. But to suggest that that was the universal experience of all Gen Xers is just not the case. I had many friends who were blessed with the same experience I had. There are also many videos suggesting that Baby Boomers are the ones who parented Generation X. And I guess that’s bound to be true for many (most) of them. But that was not true for me. I think the generation wedged between “the Greatest Generation” and the “Baby Boomers” is called the “Silent Generation.” That was my parents’ generation. When I looked up why they were called the “silent generation,” the answers highlighted that those of this generation were pretty much a conformist, go-with-the-flow group of people, especially compared to the anti-establishment, countercultural, anti-authoritarian, and rebellious nature of the Baby Boomers. That last sentence is why it strikes me as funny that Baby Boomers are at such odds with some of the younger generations who also claim to be anti-establishment, countercultural, anti-authoritarian, and rebellious.

I’m not denying, nor making light of, those who had tough childhoods. I truly grieve for them. But I don’t believe any generation cornered the market on that.

Participation Trophies

Now for a really unpopular truth. As best as I remember, I got a trophy every year I played baseball, which was around 10 years or so, I think. And they were not called this, but the truth is, they were the proverbial participation trophies. Unless it was an all-star trophy, it never said “standout athlete,” “homerun king,” or “best defensive player.” It just had my name, the season we played, and the name of my team. I think there was more of that going on than many Gen Xers are willing to admit.

A Common Culture

I loved growing up in the 70s and 80s. When I was a younger man, I admit I couldn’t really relate to those who grew up in the 90s. Their politics seemed different, their opinions on social issues seemed to be different, their music was definitely different, and I never really thought of them as people in my same generation. And yet they were. Even for a smaller generation like Gen X, there are still 15 years of it, and that’s a lot of time and a lot of people to develop a lot of different viewpoints on life. But for the older Gen Xers (and maybe the younger ones too, I don’t know), there was an invisible glue in the ambient culture that connected (and continues to connect) us.

One of the aspects about Generation X, and those who came before us, (compared to those who came after us), is we did have more of a common culture. Now this is just my unscientific, non-expert opinion, but most of us, when we were young, had three or four television channels at most. We all watched the same Saturday morning cartoons and television shows. We all listened to the same AM and FM radio stations, and therefore listened to (mostly) the same music. Even when cable vision came out, there weren’t 500 channels to choose from. And many of the channels that were available, were not things that most of us watched. (I do remember a party at a friend’s house when I was in 9^th or 10^th grade to watch the launch of MTV. I remember another party my senior year of high school when many of my friends gathered at a friend’s house and watched the video debut of Michael Jackson’s Thriller.) But the point is, there was just MTV, and therefore we all watched the same videos. That’s not to say we all had the same musical taste by any means. It’s just to say our television and radio offerings were the same. I suppose that’s why now, decades later, I can mention a scene from a Bugs Bunny cartoon or a movie line and have folks who will know what I’m talking about. Probably most generations have some version of that, but it seems like the proliferation of entertainment outlets, and therefore choices of what folks can consume, must make those shared experiences more difficult.

But maybe not. Perhaps various subcultures all enjoy the same things and discuss them together. I do know Netflix reminds us daily of what is trending, so there must be a healthy number of people consuming the same entertainment. (As I said, I’m just making anecdotal observations, not stating immutable and unarguable facts). I have four children, ages 27 to 17, who I guess make up Gen Z. They can watch more things on their phone in an evening than I could in a month when I was growing up. They can also watch whatever they want, whenever they want. So too can they listen to whatever they want, whenever they choose.

I do want to be clear about this: This is no Luddite screed. I’m clueless about much (most) of it, but I do appreciate tech. I’m presently typing on my laptop. My phone occupies too much of my life. I like watching clips of my favorite movies on YouTube and I’m not certain I could continue living without Spotify. I’m as guilty of binge-watching a Netflix TV series as the next person. Thus, this is not a complaint that “these kids today” are just awful and my generation is flawless. I hope I’ve made it clear that I’m making a modest claim that people of a certain age, my age to be exact, had a lot more things in common because we had less choices, therefore, we soaked in the same cultural atmosphere, depending on where we lived, I guess. We played outdoors because there was nothing to do indoors. If I had been born today, I probably would’ve been just as glued to video games as anyone else. So, I certainly don’t stand in judgment of people that love to play video games. It’s easy, even lazy, to say stereotypical things about other generations that weren’t true of us, but only because we weren’t born when they were.

Is There a Point Coming?

And so, what is the point of this little writing and thinking exercise? Mere catharsis? Maybe. I do feel better now.

But hopefully another aspect is simply to say this: I love being part of Gen X. And it’s been good fun watching all the videos and walking down memory lane. Nostalgia isn’t all bad. (Yet, C.S. Lewis reminds us that nostalgia isn’t the same thing as longing for our true Home. Point taken.) Yet, there is so much I can relate to with others who grew up roughly the same time and place I did, give or take a few years on either side. But I do feel like many of the things we reminisce over appear to be grounded in edited memories than in reality. And therefore, the accuracy of some of our memories is suspect. In my honest moments I must admit that while I love 80s music for the memories it recalls, for sheer quality, give me the music of the 70s every day of the week. And by that, I mean classic rock and not disco.

Postscript

My kids, all four of them, are part of Generation Z. All four are wonderful blessings to me. And I could not be more grateful. I know with certainty that there are lots of great kids in Generation Z, (and in the Millennial generation, who are kids no longer). My four children were force-fed 70s and 80s music in their childhood. I often think about the 80s music that I look back on and listen to with nostalgia filling my heart, when suddenly reality comes crashing in. It’s in that moment I realize that that music is farther back than the 50s music of my parents’ generation, that I listened to when I was in high school in the early 80s. That thought boggles my mind.

There’s something beautiful in a multigenerational culture. My church is very multigenerational and it’s one of the best things about it. I know it sounds cliché, but it really is wonderful to learn from one another. God willing, all of us will get old. No matter how young, hip, cool, or whatever slang you used to describe yourself now, you will one day not be any of those things. You too, should you have children of your own, will have little human beings who roll their eyes at you because you used the word “cool” and had the audacity to think you once were. This is a rite of passage. And it’s a good thing. It keeps us humble. I loved being young. And there are some days I miss it more than others. I like to think that I have accrued some measure of wisdom with the passing of years, though I’ve written about the fact that age alone does not make one wise. Instead, it is reflected-upon experience that helps bring us wisdom if we have eyes to see and a willingness to put what we learn into practice.

I once heard William F. Buckley, (there’s that conservative side again), say that if he had a pill that he could take to reduce his age by 25 years he wouldn’t take it. He was a man who understood that he had accomplished all he wanted, and he was ready to go. He had lost his wife a year or two before that interview and would himself pass away two or three years after the interview. He had lived well and wanted to finish well. Well, I’m not ready for that yet. I still want to one day enjoy grandchildren. I want to spoil them rotten. I still have a 17-year-old at home that I want to watch play one more season of high school football and baseball. I love being a pastor, and it is a blessing to continue shepherding those God has entrusted to my care. I like to think I have plenty left to do. And, humanly speaking, the best part is getting to do so with my wonderful wife. So, I’m not looking to go anywhere anytime soon.

Yet, when the time does come, I want to say with the Apostle Paul, that “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” I want to finish well. When the time comes, I know I will enter the loving embrace of my heavenly Father. I will be Home. The One who created me, redeemed me, and has sustained me throughout my entire life has been more generous and gracious to me than I could possibly ever deserve. He is the same God who blessed the Greatest Generation, Silent Generation, Generation X, the Baby Boomers, the Millennials, Generation Z, and whatever is coming after them. In fact, he’s the same God who created the universe out of nothing and called it good. He’s the same God who sent his only Son to redeem those he created in his image and dearly loves. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and his mercies are new every morning. So, enjoy your generation, whichever one it is. Be a light in the darkness. Trust in Christ and live your life for his glory. He has promised never to leave you nor forsake you. And you can’t do better than that, in any generation.

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