Is It Okay to Be Angry with God?
Dear Christian
Dear Christian,
You’ve asked a heartfelt and important question: “Am I allowed to be angry with God? What’s the difference between lament and simply being upset with him when bad things happen?” Many believers wrestle with these feelings, especially when life brings deep pain, loss, or confusion. Perhaps you’ve prayed for something and received silence, or you’ve faced suffering that seems unfair. You may wonder if your frustration, grief, or even anger toward God is sinful.
Let’s walk through this together and seek wisdom from God’s Word.
The God Who Knows Your Heart
First, let me assure you of this: God isn’t threatened by your emotions. He already knows what you’re feeling before you even put it into words. Psalm 139:2 says, “You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.” Our emotions - even our struggles with anger or sorrow - do not push him away.
However, how we handle these emotions matters. Scripture draws a distinction between lament - bringing our pain honestly before God in faith - and sinful anger, which accuses God of wrongdoing or distrusts his goodness. The first is a cry of faith, the second a rebellion of the heart.
Lament: A Cry of Faith
Lament is a biblical way to express sorrow, grief, and even frustration to God. The Psalms are filled with laments, where God’s people pour out their hearts in raw honesty. Consider Psalm 13:1-2, where David cries,
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
David isn’t pretending to be okay – he’s deeply distressed. But even in his pain, he directs his cries to God, not away from him. Lament is an act of trust because it acknowledges that God is the only One who can truly help.
Jesus himself lamented. On the cross, he quoted Psalm 22:1, crying out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). Yet even in his anguish, he surrendered to the Father’s will, trusting in God’s greater purpose.
The Danger of Sinful Anger
Lament is different from accusing or blaming God. When we move from honest lament to a hardened heart - questioning God’s goodness, doubting his wisdom, or refusing to trust him - we step into dangerous territory.
Consider Job’s wife, who in her grief urged Job to “Curse God and die” (Job 2:9). She allowed her suffering to turn into bitterness, rejecting God rather than seeking him. In contrast, Job lamented deeply, even questioned why he was born, but he never turned his heart away from God. That’s the key difference.
Ephesians 4:26 warns, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” If we hold onto anger against God, refusing to surrender our pain to him, it can fester into bitterness and unbelief.
Bringing Your Pain to God
If you’re struggling with difficult emotions toward God, I encourage you to bring them to him in prayer. Pour out your heart like the psalmists did - honestly, yet with trust. Tell him your fears, griefs, and disappointments. And then, like David in Psalm 13, move toward faith:
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me. (Psalm 13:5-6)
Lament leads us back to trust. Even when we don’t understand God’s ways, we can rest in his love and faithfulness, because we know his character.
Key Principle
God welcomes your honest lament, but he calls you to trust him rather than accuse him in your pain.
Questions for Reflection
Are you holding onto anger toward God, or are you bringing your pain to him in trust?
How can you use biblical lament to express your struggles while keeping your heart soft toward God?
What truths about God’s character can help you trust him even when life is hard?
Action Steps
Read Psalm 13 or another psalm of lament, and write your own prayer of honest grief, following the pattern of crying out to God but ending in trust.
Talk to a trusted Christian friend, pastor, or mentor about your struggles, and ask them to pray with you as you seek to trust God in your pain.
I pray that’s helpful and hopeful.
Your brother in Christ,
Pastor Dale
Do you have a question about the Christian life? I invite you to send it my way. I will prayerfully respond with encouragement and guidance to help you in your walk with Christ. Your identity will remain anonymous, but your question could be a blessing to others who may be wrestling with the same issue. Let’s seek the Lord together in faith and trust!